[Utah-astronomy] Looking to buy..

I am in the market for an extremely powerful Atmospheric Pressure and Weather Regulator. If any of you are, or are in contact with, an evil genius with access to a well tested model please contact me. I request that it not be connected with any previous world domination plots. I just finished watching the weather and the forecast for the next week was, "Grey with a chance of Light grey followed by a slight chance of going to Park City where it is not grey".