OH, GOD, PLEASE NOOOOO!!!!!!!
SOMEONE STOP THEM PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

This is everything The KLF was NOT about. It's like Rammstein with a 4/4 beat only much, much worse, because they're dull and humourless. These guys have absolutely NO talent at all. How long since they formed? 20 years or so? And what do I hear: is it STILL that f*in' 4/4 beat from twenty years ago?
Stealing 'Grim/North' and calling it Hyper Hyper, then covering KISS, then back again to KLF whenever they need street cred????

At least B+J were inventive stealers. They had a mythology, funny ideas, pranks, you name it. They stole from Webber, OK, then paired it with Sympathy For The Devil's WOO WOO's, transforming it to Mu Mu, there's WTIL for ya.

On the other hand, Scooter always does the same thing, they take beautiful, innovative songs and artists and rape them with that same f*in' 4/4 germano-euro-stomping arena mayday loveparade sh*t, whether it's a genuine Kiss track, or the KLF's rave classic. Dull songs, same structure. Ramones did similar things, but they were funny, they never stepped outside their roles. Scooter wants to pay tribute to their pioneers, they want credibility, they want to say Big Up's, and Kudos or whatever they call it nowadays, but it just won't go. They have NO credibility, you know? They were NEVER innovative, they NEVER suffered for their art. They did the same song for over a zillion years, and sometimes they drop in sime "covers" or "tributes", to let the world know "where they came from". The Stereo MC's already stole it. It's old hat. It's money for old rope.

KLF may be responsible for Scooter? Only in a way when one blames the atomic war on Einsten, the inventor of matchsticks for gunfights, and so on. KLF is NOT responsible for these retards, whoever claims they were "influenced by KLF".

If I myself have heard that a band like Scooter says that my work of art was the motive and prime influence to form them, I'd rather kill myself silently. Or no, I'd kill them first, and THEN myself. It's a shame, not a badge of honour.

Talent borrow, genius steals, but these guys are NO geniuses, that's for sure. Hope they'll die a painful death for the crimes they committed against music. This is pure bullsh*t, sorry. It's worse than wanda dee. Wait, NO! They ARE wanda dee. I mean, two f*in no-talent projects, one claims to be the original KLF, the other say they just want to pay tribute??? F*****K OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At least wanda dee's "music" isn't selling, so she can be laughed at as a dumb bimbo she really is. Scooter are dumb too, but the people are buying them (at least in Germany) in vast quantities, so they have a reason to think their crap is considered music. NO IT F***KIN ISN'T!!!!

And what about Germany, please? For years and years there were dozens of creative musicians and bands there, then this overhyped-imported-castrated techno empire was built upon the mighty experiences of Kraftwerk!!! SHAME!!!!!!!!!! Please don't let the world be embarrassed by this "band", clean them up now. Like, F***KIN' NOW. They are crap, you know. REALLY CRAP.

Of course this sh*t will go triple platinum, people will buy it dozens, just as flies go to the manure...but it doesn't mean it's good music. Let's try again, give it a listen, maybe there's someting...oh no, what a letdown.

So that's ALL they could came up with while they were on "it" (nudge nudge wink wink) in the studio, listening to KLF? JESUS!!!

It's worse than a nice "talk" with Paris Hilton. It's f*kin painful. But, at least this f*kin torture is over, I stopped it again, closed the window (I didn't even need to hear the whole, ya know, it's crap in the beginning, double crap in the middle and triple crap in the end). That was WTIL as Scooter think of it, okay, I'm over it. Yet another classic reamed, yet another artist eviscerated, yet another dancefloor filled. That's f*kin it. Okie Dokie.

But if they'll ever, ever f*kin EVER go near to LTTT, I...I dunno, I can't say I'll kill them, because I won't, and I can't say things like that, because it's cruel and blablablah....let's just say I hope they have fan like poor John Lennon had, who will finally kill them all. Wait, I have a better idea: I'll do voodoo f*kin dolls of every three of them, especially that shouting high blonde ubermensch chap, and stick pins into every inch of those dolls, if they'll ever do a vesion of LTTT. I dare ya, I mutherf*kin dare ya!!!  Do a version, I'll do "f*kin voodoo magik"!!!!!!!!! Your bad karmas will return upon you scooter guys and you'll f*kin die!!!

I think Denis Leary said it best, when he said:

"I mean, Stevie Ray Vaughan is dead, and we can't get Jon Bon Jovi onto a fucking helicopter!"

"We live in a country where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him, not ONE FUCKING BULLET! Explain that to me God!!! "

Jesus, this video, this "song" really brought out the worst of me. Now I can go home and listen to some CAN or Finitribe. I can't listen to KLF now. This cover was a sacrilege. No, this IS sacrilege.

"I take music pretty seriously. You see that scar on my wrist? You see that? You know where that's from? I heard the Bee Gees were getting back together again. I couldn't take it, OK! "

From: Daniel Erlemann <daniel@klf.de>
Reply-To: "All bound for Mu-Mu Land." <klf@mailman.xmission.com>
To: "All bound for Mu-Mu Land." <klf@mailman.xmission.com>
Subject: [KLF] Scooter are BACK! (With a KLF track...)
Date: Tue, 5 Dec 2006 16:31:14 +0100

Hey!

I just stumbled upon Scooter's new single "(The Legend) Behind The  Cow" and I must say... MAN, this is what I call a nice What Time Is  Love cover version!

They not only start with "In the year of our lord 1994, we  conquered..." but do a REAL cover of WTIL including the "Whoo Whoos"  and everything else!

Check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C6MwmoYdYU


Hopefully there'll be a non-vocal mix on the single! ;-)

Cheers, Dan


---
a.k.a. Kuta, KLF Online (www.klf.de)

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