Jim Muth wrote:
....and if, as some claim, mankind needs a spiritual solution to its problems.... ....where do we find the spirit that will rescue us from our problems?
Maryetta Campbell wrote:
The type that comes in a bottle or decanter? :-) Escapism seems to work for most people!!! "Cheers", "Salud", "Sláinte", "Prost", "Bottoms Up"
news://localhost/rec.humor (substitute localhost with a server) Seven-Eleven sells (very expensive) happy pills. They contain too much caffeine and too little Ephedra for my taste, and at least I can get some work done after taking them, which is more than I can say of alcohol. This is my whole tagline collection, gleaned from http://www.taglinesgalore.com/: Random, adj: Following rules beyond your understanding. Mally was born to shop. Violence is a sword with no handle: You must hold the blade. http://ecn.ab.ca/~brewhaha/Sound/Sucker.mp3 Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok. To know and enjoy what you are good at is three blessings. QUANDO OMNI FLUNKUS MORITATI (when all else fails, play dead) Energize, said Kirk, and a pink drummer bunny appeared. There are no facts; only interpretations. - Friedrich Nietzsche Barium: What you do if CPR fails. http://ecn.ab.ca/~brewhaha/Sound/Kompleet_Ingglish_Alfabet.mp3 (All music will shift your attitude.) Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to market reproductive organs. Reality is a crutch for people who cannot face up to quantum physics. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you cannot find them. Does a Cheshire cat drink evaporated milk? Government at its best is a necessary evil. - T. Paine Where in the war does Micro$oft want to take me today? Line for Darth Vader in Star Wars to sanitize: "(Exhale, Inhale) Luke, you are my bastard!" Zen Crafters -- Complete Enlightenment, In About An Hour! Some things are more important than money, but they won't go out with you if you hav no money. Religious solicitors will be hideously martyred. Your most useful program will upgrade itself until it will not fit on your computer. My mind is like a blotter: Soaks it up, gets it backwards, and if it was a mess to begin with, then you get a Rorshach. When the consumer isn't observing this product, it may cease to exist. Pollytheism (n.), The belief that God is a parrot. (Pollytheist) To keep another caveman from stealing your woman, use "THE CLUB". URA Redneck if you dress up the kids to go to Wal-Mart Confucius say: Chemist who fall in acid get absorbed in work. Never say hi to Jack in an airport. Mathematicians do it in fields. I found JESUS! He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana. Create a system any fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it "Can YOU think?", I asked, putting Descartes before the horse. News is the first rough draft of History. Quantum Mechanics, n: The dreams that stuff is made of. Great spirits are often met with violent opposition from mediocre minds. --Albert Einstein Words you do not want to hear from your driver: "Watch This!". Deja Brew: I recognize this beer recipe. Deja Moo: The feeling that this cow was milked before. Deja Poo: The feeling that you hav heard this bull before. Deja Stew: A familiar feeling in your stomach. Deja Coup: The feeling we overtook this government before. Deja Flu: The feeling you caught this bug before. Do not adjust your mind. The fault lies with reality. Vejetarians eat only vejtablz. Wuz Jeffrey Dahmer a humanitarian? Yo momma so fat...NASA tracks her location for her effect on satellites. Yo momma so fat...when she go to duh beach the tide comes in. Yo'momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car! Zebra: the largest size bra; if Dolly Parton were an Elephant. Slang is language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes to work. If your vacuum cleaner has four wheel drive, then you are a redneck. Crawl to begin. Triumph to complete. Renounce to leave. Zen law-makers pass transcendental legislation. My God can beat up YOUR god...