“Lite”
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Vol. 38, Issue 6 - A, September 4, 2018
How BYU Football Used to Hire Coaches
Wanted: Offensive Coordinator for team with struggling offense. Experience and proven results and resume a must. Prefer an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints willing to work for a below market wage of $123,000 annually. Employee discounts at BYU Creamery available. Must be living currently within a 45-mile radius of campus. Willing to live Honor Code standards. Caffeinated Coke and Dr. Pepper now available on campus. No need to bring your own in brown paper bag. Must have a college degree. No questions asked on when or where you got the degree. Unless it was printed online and cost less than $49.95, but that is negotiable.
My Thoughts on How BYU Hired Jeff Grimes
Dear Jeff: We need an offensive coordinator desperately. Ticket sales are a disaster. We need wins and an offense that can occasionally get a first down. We no longer care if the offense is pass oriented. Those days went the way of the single wing and non-athletic defensive backs. Money used to be an issue. We were cheapskates. No longer. We can’t afford to not be competitive. We know you make $560,000 per annum at LSU. We also know that if you stay 2 more years in Baton Rouge you are guaranteed to make $585,000 annually. Let’s cut to the chase. We will give you $600,000 per year and it will be your show. Just think, if you turn this thing around at BYU, LSU might hire you back and you can make what defensive coordinator Dave Aranda makes at LSU. That’s right. $1.85 million. As for housing, we can put you in contact with Norm Chow. He still has a home in Provo but is living in his home he bought in Manhattan Beach, while coaching at USC. You know the Honor Code drill. That didn’t drive you away when you left before. We admit it. It was the slim penurious paycheck from BYU that sent you to Colorado. Those days are over. If not, so is BYU football. Please reply soon. We are actious to hear from you.
Click here for assistant coach cash and Jeff Grimes’ LSU salary
Click here for Jeff Grimes’ Auburn salary
Ryan Pugh the new offensive line coach who followed his mentor Grimes to BYU, earned $83,000 last year in his first year coaching the o-line at UT-San Antonio.
Aaron Roderick was getting $500,000 in his last year at Utah.
Fesi Sitake salary last season at Weber State was reportedly $37,000 as offensive coordinator.
That would mean the safeties coach Preston Hadley salary last season at Weber was probably less than $37,000.
Click Here to See What BYU is Getting from Grimes for its $600,000 (my estimate) per year
In the Spirit of Full Disclosure
My first job was at Munson’s Pontiac as a janitor and car cleaner. I think I made $3 an hour. I made $8 per hour in the summer working in the cantaloupe packing shed owned by my high school friend’s dad. That was big money at the time for a teen and taught me the financial principle of it’s not what you know, but who you know.
I was the head man at BYU and got up at 4 am to clean toilets as a freshman. I lasted just longer than it took for a good flush, but not much longer.
I didn’t get paid in Chile while serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but my parents were sending me $43 per month through the church to keep me there.
My dad was sorry to see me come home. He said it would cost more to put me back on his car insurance than what he was spending on me in Chile.
I refuse to disclose how much I made or make now on the grounds that it may incriminate me with the IRS and my wife, but I will say I have never made more than the Governors of Utah, Wyoming, California, Nevada, Michigan, Wisconsin or any other state.
Good Time
After a big win over Arizona, now would be a good time for you to renew your subscription. If you are receiving this notice your subscription has expired or is close to expiring according to my records. You can renew by clicking here: Oldmancougar.com