Bohls: Memo to Texas — BYU has been nothing but trouble

Posted: 7:21 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 2, 2014

By Kirk Bohls- American-Statesman Staff

A piece of advice for Texas athletic director Steve Patterson:

Do not, under any circumstances, schedule another football game with Brigham Young. Ever. Even at gunpoint. Even if they want to play it in China or Mexico. Or on Saturn. Don’t do it.

BYU quarterback Taysom Hill (center) celebrates with two of his offensive linemen after last year’s 40-21 win over Texas. The Cougars hold a 3-1 edge in the series with the Longhorns.

And for Pete’s sake, quash any chance that BYU could join the Big 12. You surely don’t want to play them every year.

I would say it’s nothing personal, but that’d be wrong. It is. It’s all personal. This series with BYU just hasn’t been healthy for Texas, and we all know the Longhorns’ health has been a serious topic of conversation lately.

So end this pseudo-rivalry after Saturday’s game. Or before, if you can buy out BYU before this weekend and replace it with SMU or even North Texas again. Call it two out of three with the Mean Green.

First and foremost, the Cougars are usually pretty darn good and are even better now than a year ago. That’s a scary thought. Texas does get a suspended player back in unproven offensive tackle Desmond Harrison, but BYU might get five suspended players back, four of them starters. Again, Steve, think North Texas.

Secondly, Texas has played BYU four times, and nothing good’s come of it. Even in the one victory, Texas narrowly escaped 17-16 in what turned out to be a watershed moment.

You might recall last year’s 40-21 contest, although calling it a contest would be a disservice to all contests everywhere. Texas never came close to challenging Bronco Mendenhall’s club. (As an aside, you never like your chances if the opposing coach is called Bronco. Schedule someone whose first name is Teddy or Byron.)

The Longhorns players remember. It was only the worst defensive showing EVER, and that’s a long time since Texas has been playing football for 122 years if you count the 5-7 season of 2010.

Even the shocking 66-3 home meltdown against UCLA in 1997 doesn’t compare because that was a solid Bruins team, albeit 0-2 at the time, with future (briefly) NFL quarterback Cade McNown. Last year’s BYU club lost five games. And Texas’ offense had eight turnovers against UCLA and not a one in that BYU game last September and still lost by 19.

“I remember the physicality they played with,” Texas linebacker Jordan Hicks said Monday. “They manhandled us all over the board. It was one of the all-time lows for us as a team.”

And cornerback Duke Thomas? What does he remember?

“Just pain,” he said.

Quandre Diggs has tried to forget it.

“It was probably the most embarrassed I’ve ever been,” the senior cornerback said. “We were embarrassed then; we’re embarrassed now. We laid an egg, and we lost a coach’s job.”

A bunch of coaches, as it turned out, although defensive coordinator Manny Diaz was the only casualty from that weekend.

“But it’s a new day,” Diggs said. “We’re a new team. We’ve got a new coach.”

And a new quarterback, but that’s another story.

Here’s why Texas shouldn’t play BYU again:

In 2013, the Longhorns defense made quarterback Taysom Hill look like a cross between Tim Tebow and Jim Brown. Brown fired Diaz almost as soon as the airplane wheels touched down in Austin, and Texas was never the same in an 8-5 season.

In 2011, Texas squeaked by BYU, but it was the last time Garrett Gilbert ever got on the field in a Longhorns uniform. The quarterback position hasn’t been the same since.

In 1988, BYU mashed Texas 47-6 when it traveled to Provo without Heisman contender Eric Metcalf. That, like this one, was a contentious summer. The versatile running back was suspended for the opener for taking summer school money when he never attended either session. Without Metcalf, the Longhorns had no offensive punch to start a 4-7 season.

The year before, BYU escaped with a 22-17 win to help usher in the David McWilliams era. That loss, coupled with a 31-3 defeat at Auburn, started off Coach Mac with an 0-2 record and might have been a harbinger of things to come. Even though Texas rallied for a 7-5 record, McWilliams had three losing seasons in the next four years to severely deflate a hopeful fan base that worshipped the Longhorns’ favorite son.

To recap the BYU series, Texas has lost three of the four games, a defensive coordinator, a quarterback and much of its pride.

So, Steve, if the phone rings, and it’s a call from Provo, don’t pick it up.